Monday, August 16, 2010

TROLL 2 on Blu-Ray October 5th


Some movies are bad because of a couple bad scenes or lines of dialogue. TROLL 2, on the other hand, is bad in every possible way in every scene of the movie! There seriously is no other "bad film" like it.

Check out this glorious review from Amazon:


Quote:

53 of 54 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars TROLL 2 - !!!, August 9, 2004
By JAVG - See all my reviews

This review is from: Troll/Troll 2 (DVD)

I want to thank the reviewers here who steered me to TROLL 2! I thought that the enthusiasm about its hilarious awfulness had to be exaggerated, but based on the general consensus that this is one you have to see to believe, I risked $9.99 and took a chance.

Wow!

Oh, what I also would give to hear a commentary track by the director and cast! Their brains should be put in glass jars and displayed in a medical museum somewhere upon their deaths! This is one for the ages. If you haven't seen it, remember the way RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK starts off on a high of adventure with that cave escape and then keeps trying to top it? Well, TROLL 2 starts out atop the Mt. Everest of stupidity and then miraculously keeps upping the stakes. It's the zenith of moron creativity! When you're holding your sides for the tenth time from laughing and think to yourself the "actors" can't possibly deliver another so-called line of dialogue in a way that's any more disjointedly absurd yet painfully sincere to top the last one, THEY DO IT! Talk about alternative reality! The CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI looks like an episode of THE ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW next to this. Just a small sampling of my favorite high points:

Grandpa Seth's unintentional and uncanny ability to sound - whenever he tries to pass on an eerie warning to his grandson - like a pervert!

Teenage Holly's scary-hip dance moves (for wooden acting she makes Brooke Shields in THE BLUE LAGOON look like a piker)!

The classic early conversation between the father and mother in which they discuss why and how they are trading houses with a strange farm family they don't know (David Mamet, eat your heart out)!

The subtle subtext choice of the actress playing the mother to choose to read all her lines with a "damnit-I-forgot-to-take-my-anti-depressant-medication-again-today" delivery.

The wacky pack of Holly's boyfriend and his friends - all of whom seem to have the brains of emotionally immature six-year-olds transplanted into their sixteen-year-old bodies (be sure to look for the hilarious sharing-the-same-bed quick cut-away shot too)!

The family's ingeniously logical plan to starve themselves for days on end to punish young Joshua for peeing on their dinner in order to save their lives (don't ask)!

The line that's right up there with "Frankly my dear I don't give a damn" and "Louie, I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship" , , , "You're a genius, big sister!"

As another reviewer said, a thousand reviews can't begin to scratch the surface as to how side-splittingly bad this movie is. I say the best joke we as a planet could ever play is, the next deep-space probe we send out a la Voyager to announce our existence, we only include a copy of TROLL 2 as an example of what human beings and life on earth are really like!
 

AWESOME!! Watch it on Hulu for free to see what he's talking about http://www.hulu.com/watch/31381/troll-2

This movie is infectious!!

AND IT COMES OUT ON BLU-RAY OCTOBER 5TH!!

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